The Most Recent Tragedy

I'm going to have to take a break from telling you about past boys to tell you about the most recent one that ended last night. I was dating this boy, TwoStrikesHick; as his name suggests yes he has two strikes and is doing his best to avoid his third, he also just got out of prison a month ago, he lives in the middle of hick-ville dade city. I didn't tell anyone the above information because I am a notorious post prison dater, I like dating very bad boys. TwoStrikesHick and I met using a dating website (which I'm always very embarrassed to admit I use), he messaged me saying some shit like "what's up babi?" and I responded quite frankly with a who the fuck do you think you are. Then we continued talking and I gave him my number. So this kid and I would talk for the first few nights we knew each other from literally 12 to like 3/4 in the morning. I obviously really liked this kid if I was willing to sacrifice precious beauty sleep hours for him. So it took me a little while to warm up to TwoStrikesHick because he's maybe a solid 3.5/4 and like I said I'm a 7.5ish depending on the day. Now what I'm about to tell you is my account of how things happened, I'm doing my best to keep my emotions out of it so it doesn't look biased. After two nights of talking way into the wee hours of the night, I decided that it was time for me to me to meet this boy who was easily sweet talking his way into my life. I knew from the beginning that he wasn't my usual type (big football player type guys) but what I didn't know was how I would begin to fall hard for him. He lives about 45 minutes away from me, which most Floridians consider a long drive... but being from the north where there's nothing that's 15 minutes or less away I don't consider it to be a long drive. So one day after I got off of work I went to the gas station filled my tank and went all the way up to Dade City from Saint Pete. On my way up, we were texting and he decided to tell me last minute information like he lives with his grandma in a trailer and his mother and step father live in back of his grandmother in their own trailer. Now this is how stupid I am, I was thinking like maybe one of those nice trailers that you see in old folks communities where they have cute little lawn cherubs and a covered over porch and a 70's decorated house. No. I pull up to this kid's house and first of all he lives next to the train tracks, behind a field full of cows that aren't even his. You know those nice trailers I was expecting? Yeah, this trailer was blue, raised up 5 feet off the ground with one door in the front that a set of rickety (literally like the wavy bridge on the playground rickety) stairs that I was convinced I would fall off of. I get out of the car and I was expecting someone a lot uglier, but he was kinda cute... obviously I haven't been around attractive men for a while. So I had no intention of giving this guy anything but the satisfaction of my company, but little did I know... despite all of his shitty possessions and his situation I would fall really hard for him. So like every other girl in the world, I'm very jealous and don't like the presence of ex girlfriends... This fucking kid had a big shoe box filled with all the shit she sent him when he was in prison, letters upon letters with pictures upon pictures of the two of them. I was really into this kid I wanted so badly for my relationship with him to work out, so I broke out the big guns and let him in on the goods. We had sex not once, not twice, but three times and he was surprisingly very good at giving head. We were watching movies... I fell asleep before the meet-cute of one of them, and as far as I know we stayed cuddled up with each other all night until the morning. I consider that really intimate and for some reason, this 7.5 was infatuated with this 3.5/4, I couldn't get enough of him I wanted to talk to him all day and all night, but obviously I restrained myself to not seem like a psycho so early. So TwoStrikesHick decided that it was time to have "the talk" right after I left and he said he had had "the best night since he's gotten out of prison" which I thought was sweet... in a weird felon way. So I was completely under this kid's spell, if he wanted me to make him 7million brownies I would. He told me that he wanted to be able to talk to other girls, and me being the normal sane girl that I am freaked the fuck out and told him the usual things "you don't give a shit about me", "all you're doing is using me for sex", etc. He urged me I was wrong, so I decided that I would come up and hang out with him one more time because I wanted to talk this out and I hate having serious discussions via text messaging. So I drove my tired ass up to his ghettoass crap house that you'd think was a meth lab. We watch some scary movie, and I fall asleep in his arms. I wake up a few times in the night and find him up playing his video game and I cuddle up to him and make him come back and lay down with me. I think he waits until I fall asleep and gets up again and plays video games. I wake up and decide that I'm gonna leave early, at like 12 and I get home around 1. I'm re-infatuated with him and we continue to text the whole night until he passes out. The next day (the day after he told me I make him happy), I text him when I wake up and don't hear anything from him almost all day... so I decide to call him.. two short rings and then voicemail. Something his brother had said pops in my head "Isn't it cool that you can set it so when certain people call you it goes straight to voicemail". All that's going through my head is WTF WTF WTF! So I decide to do something with myself and start writing a blog about all of the terrible experiences I've had with men over the past two years (yes this blog). After finishing an entire tub of guacamole by myself I decided it was time to do the crazy girl thing and call him non stop for the next hour and a half (don't judge, you know you've done this before). Eventually I gave up and cried myself to sleep, this was a very dramatic night for me (later that week I got my period). I called him a few times over the next couple of days but on Friday I didn't call him at all. I texted him and told him that I wanted to talk and he responded! and we were talking for a good 2 hours about what he was doing and he said he got arrested again... so he said he'd call me when he was ready to talk things out. Since then I've been sitting around my apartment waiting for his call or text and every text or call I get my heart dies a little each time when I see that it's not him. This weeks lesson? How to be a psycho girl. (check!)

A little side note, I was bored on Saturday night so I decided to look up TwoStrikesHick's arrest record (which you can do by simply going to google entering their name and city). I found out that he's been arrested 5 or 6 times and it's not just for gun charges like he said. My little TwoStrikesHick was arrested a few times with possession of Xanax... without a prescription. I have here TwoStrikesHick's most recent mugshot from before he went to jail last year.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!